John 21:17: He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love (phileo) me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love (phileo) me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love (phileo) you.”
Do you love Jesus?
Notice here the words that are used. In the Greek language there are more than one word to describe “love.” The first and most important word for love is agape. Agape is the deepest form of love, based on sacrificial living for the life of the other. It’s loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
A second Greek word is phileo. Phileo is brotherly or sisterly love toward someone we really love when we don’t agape them. Philadelphia is the City of Brotherly Love, based on phileo and adelphos (brother).
Notice the words that Jesus and Peter use in this three question dialog. Jesus asks Peter twice, “Do you agape me?” Jesus was looking for a sacrificial love, the kind of love that gives its all, just like Jesus had given his life for the sake of those who follow him.
Peter answers each time, “Yes, Lord, I phileo you.” Peter wasn’t able to respond with the kind of agape answer that Jesus was looking for. Peter responded, “I phileo you.” Yeah, Jesus, we’re buds. Best Friends Forever. I love you, man. Give me a knuckle bump. We’re tight, man."
So the third time, Jesus changes the question. “Peter, do you phileo me?” And Peter says, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love (phileo) you.”
Knowing that Peter was not capable of an agape love that Jesus was looking for, Jesus asks the third question on Peter’s level. And that was OK with Jesus because Jesus loves Peter just the way he is, with all his quirks and idiosyncrasies, with all his enthusiasm and all his failures. Jesus loves him just the way he is, unconditionally, without reserve. But Jesus changes the question to address Peter’s level of love.
But here’s the key to understanding the progression of these questions.
Jesus loves Peter just as he is, unconditionally and without reserve. But at the same time, Jesus loves Peter far too much to let him stay that way.
Peter’s phileo love was all that he could offer. But by inviting Peter to follow him, to feed and tend his sheep in a life of discipleship, Jesus was inviting Peter into a life beyond question; into a life of sacrificial love that grows into an agape love.
In the same way, Jesus loves you unconditionally, without reserve and with an everlasting love. And however you answer the question, “Do you love Jesus?”, it’s OK. Jesus wants to recognize that we, like Peter, are at different points on our spiritual journeys. He loves us and accepts us unconditionally, just as we are.
At the same time, he loves us far too much to let us stay where we are.
Life is a journey. Faith is a journey. And deepening our lives of discipleship along the journey leads us towards an agape love.
Love. It’s true. That’s what it’s all about.
Questions to Ponder:
- · Do you love Jesus? Of course you do. But are there ways in which you could love him more? What would that look like? What would need to be different in your life?
- · If there are steps you could take to deepen your life of following Jesus, what would those steps be? What could you do in the remaining days of this transformative personal journey through Lent to love Jesus even more?
Prayer for Today: Love, love, love; that’s what it’s all about. ‘Cause God loves us we love each other; Mother, Father, Sister, Brother. Everybody sing and shout! ‘Cause that’s what it’s all about. It’s about love, love, love. Amen.
In this beloved scene, Tevye is looking for an agape answer. Golde is only able to give a phileo answer. But that's OK. It doesn't change a thing, but even so, after 25 years, it's nice to know.
Your video message will be burned into my brain like no other, for years to come, I'm sure!
ReplyDeleteBut please don't tell me that a "might nice lookin' fella" like yourself would fall victim to the chipper! That would fer sure make me "feel like I'm gonna barf!"
Great lesson!